And finally… sobering news

Westminster taps will run dry tomorrow after parliamentary authorities ordered a ban on alcohol sales due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle said there would be no alcohol served in any of the House of Commons bars or restaurants for the “foreseeable future”.

The six affected venues are technically exempt from Covid-19 regulations because they are “workplace canteens”.

However, the bars have been under heightened scrutiny since September, when a public backlash forced them to accede to the English pub curfew.

Sir Lindsay said: “As MPs represent different constituencies in different tiers – with the very highest level ordering the closure of pubs – I have decided to stop the sale of alcohol across the House of Commons end of the estate from this Saturday.”