Douglas Mill: There was a wee Cooper who lived in Fife

Anyway, what is all this you will be wondering. Cupar. Fife. A lovely wee town behaving badly. Under everyone’ s radar screen till a recent triple whammy. What have they been putting in the water?

It seems to happen to the profession. Nice douce wee places suddenly self-immolate. It happened in Forres in the 90s. Stranraer and Newton Stewart about the same time. Dreadful for the local profession and dreadful for the public.

The first Cupar whammy was last week an article about a local firm keeping itself afloat for a period of almost nine years by using other people’s money. Not good. McQuittys. Strange firm name that sticks in the mind. All for £269,000, which is pathetic. And the sole partner Mr Walls is struck off and banged up for eight months. Which is about all right. Except-why does it take so long? And why are solicitors developing the feeling that the wee guys are getting hammered whilst bigger firms escape? I could not possibly comment.

Whammy number two is, of course, Pagan Osborne, and again thanks to everyone who has been in touch with information. Further article to follow.

And as for whammy number three, step forward the rugby team, Howe of Fife. What can I say? Used to be a nice club. Played there. Duffus Park. And now would seem to be a good time to confirm it was my pal Bob who stole the net curtains out the Ladies (in 1978) for his flat. I think prescription has passed. Because that was the sort of daft, harmless things rugby players did. Until recently. If you don’t know what this is about, don’t google it. It’s far too horrible and the SRU had no alternative to ban pretty much all the club officials.

Nickety nackety noo noo noo, as the locals apparently say.

And well done, Serena Sutherland from Orkney for identifying The Boss and The River.