I often wonder what I will do in my retirement. Travelling, reading, cooking, spending more time with friends and family: these, perhaps mundane, activities are the sum of the picture that emerges – assuming I am to be so lucky.

Surprisingly, penning disgruntled letters to this fine publication, bemoaning current affairs and lamenting that things could be done better “if only I was still in charge/in practice/on the bench” hasn’t, thus far, been a serious contender. But I can only presume, given how prevalent this past-time has become, that I too will one day join this grumpy band of retired lawyers with too much time and too little imagination.

When I get to the happy day of hanging up my gown, all I can hope is that I remember these current thoughts:

1. If you are going to write in retirement, choose Robert Shiels as your role-model, i.e. pen a well-researched, thoughtful article or book review: no diatribes or “thunderers”;
2. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you know the whole story about a particular case from what you have picked up in the press while sitting in your conservatory; and
3. Don’t be fooled into thinking that the younger generation needs your gems of wisdom: they will almost certainly have considered, and discounted, what you are about to suggest – and they will have done so in possession of the full facts.

Until then, I can rest in the comfort of knowing that, if ever stuck for ideas on what to do – about anything, really – I can always call upon SLN’s resident, retired sheriffs/lawyers for suggestions. They truly do have all the answers!

Yours in bewilderment,

Grumpy (but still practising) advocate