Sheriff publishes letter to children in contact case

A sheriff has published a Note that includes a letter to two children in a contact case in which the court held the pursuer (father) was entitled to indirect contact.

At the suggestion of a clinical psychologist who gave evidence in the case, Sheriff Anwar wrote a letter to the children explaining the decision of the court.

Written in plain English and without legal terminology, the letter explains to the children the reasons for the judgment.

It states: “Your mum, dad, and other members of your family have all spoken to me. I have also listened to what Dr Khan has said. I know, from what your mum and Dr Khan have told me, that you don’t want to see your dad.

“I can understand that. Your dad’s job is to care for you, protect you, love you, help you, make good plans for you and to know what is right for you. Sometimes, he has not been very good at that. He has locked you in your rooms when you have been naughty and you haven’t liked that. He has sworn at you sometimes and you haven’t liked that.”

It adds: “But I don’t believe that your dad meant to hurt you or to be mean to you in doing the things that he has done. I believe that he did not really think about how you would feel.

“That does not make him a bad dad. I know that there are lots of things that you did together that you really enjoyed, like playing in the garden, skiing and going on holidays. I know that he used to help you with homework, make your dinner and pick you up from school. I know that he has kept in touch with the school to learn about your progress.”

It goes on to state: “I think that your dad needs some help to understand how you are feeling and to understand how he can be a better dad to you. I think that your dad needs some help to make sure he doesn’t make the same mistakes. I have asked him to get that help and he has agreed. He might also, sometimes, need some help from you to understand how you feel.

The Sheriff adds: “I don’t think that it is good for you to grow up thinking you have a bad dad. I don’t think that it is good for you to forget all the good times. I don’t think that is it good for you to think that your dad meant to hurt you, when he didn’t. I think that it is better for you to get to know your dad again and to give him a chance to make things better.”

Finally, she states: “We all make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from them. I think your dad has learned from his mistakes.”